Marriage is God?s idea. God did not leave us alone to figure out how marriage might work. Instead, God instructed us in his word on marriage?s significance, purpose and even limitations.
The way God instructs us on the issues of marriage differs from most people?s expectation. There are no books in the Bible dedicated to the single issue of marriage. Instead, God?s word on this important topic comes within the context of the greater story of God?s plan to redeem his creation. This is important to remember when studying marriage because it keeps marriage in its temporary context.
The Bible tells the story of humanity?s outright rebellion against their gracious Creator. Instead of punishing and abandoning his people, God chooses to restore his creation to himself by sacrificially loving his people through the gift of Jesus. What does this have to do with marriage?
Everything.
Marriage serves as an important piece of something greater.? God gave us the illustration of marriage to remind us of the eternal mystery of God?s love for us in Jesus. Therefore, in order to understand how husbands and wives were designed to relate to one another, we must recognize and submit to God?s Core Truths that guide, support and sustain the divine institution of marriage.
One Core Truth we cannot escape: marriage is not the primary goal and purpose in life. There can be a tremendous about of energy wasted in pursuit of marital heaven here on earth. Many find that their insatiable desire to be loved and accepted has led them down a disappointing path of relational disillusionment. Don?t blame marriage for failing to deliver. Blame the human tendency of exaggerated optimism. People are guilty of looking to human relationships to satisfy their quest for fulfillment, significance and purpose. These needs can only be found in our relationship with God.
A second Core Truth: everyone is deeply broken and self-centered. The Bible teaches that the rebellion started in the Garden continues to break people apart. Although everyone is made in God?s image, they are distorted image-bearers of their divine Creator. The Bible does not teach people are inherently good. It teaches that everyone suffers from the consequences of their sin.
Society suffers. Individuals suffer. Marriages suffer? because husbands and wives are made from a union of hurt, self-centered, needy and therefore people. It is hard news to hear, but when we realize our universal condition of brokenness we can begin the process of healing by humbling ourselves and turn to God as our only source of hope and help.
A third Core Truth: our relationships with one another reflect our relationship with God and vice versa. Our relationship with God and how we love, submit and respect our spouse correlates directly to each other. Too many Jesus followers claim to be ?fine with God,? and yet remain apathetic about a marriage relationship crumbling right in front of them.
The reverse can also be true. When we focus on and build our marriages upon a healthy relationship with God, we are more capable of loving our spouse generously and sacrificially. When we are at peace with God and faithfully following him, we are healthy enough to avoid the destructive relational temptations of anger, lust, resentment and unfaithfulness.
This is another painful Truth to admit. In 1 John 4 we read that it is impossible to claim to love God (who you cannot see) and not love your brother (who you can see). If this is true for a brother or sister in Christ, how much more is it true for the one you promised before God to love, honor and cherish as long as you live?
Speaking of promises? the final Core Truth for this lesson is the potential power of a promise. I have performed a number of weddings lately and cannot help but be amazed by the lofty and courageous claims in wedding vows. We promise to stay committed if we have lots of money or if we lose everything. We boldly promise before family and friends to love someone if they are sick every day for the rest of the their lives.
Most people believe promises can be restrictive and repressive. Promises limit us and restrain us from greater self-expression and fulfillment. But the Bible paints a beautiful picture of the exact opposite. Promises build trust and character. Anyone can follow his or her selfish desires. Keeping our promises creates another world where our word can be trusted. The real results of promises kept are security, respect, and sacrifice.
These four Core Truths are not the only ones we could have considered. There are more, but there is enough here to begin working on building a strong marriage for the glory of God and your own peace and joy.
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